When we are diacussing the hospital time with a birth mom, this is one of questions we are often asked:
If I’m placing my baby for adoption, do I still get to spend time with my baby at the hospital?
Of course. Let’s take a moment to discuss your time with the baby at the hospital.
First. This time is yours. We can help you talk through your options and emotions, but this is your time.
When you have a baby there are a few different levels of contact. You can decide which one is right for you.
There are two sides to how you make your contact decisions at the hospital.
Some moms choose limited or minimal contact with the baby to aid in their decision. The birth mom is in a position in life where an adoption plan seems like the best possible option for them and their child. They choose to have minimal contact so that their powerful emotions do not cloud their ability to do what they think is the best option.
The other train of thought is to spend a great deal of time with the baby as it is the only time you will have with them for many years. Some moms take this time to keep the baby close.
There is no real wrong way to do this. We only ever caution our moms that if they want to have the baby on their chest and in their arms the whole time the placement process will most likely be much harder. But as I said before. The time is yours.
Between the two sides there are ranges of options.
You can see and hold the baby right away. You can have the baby in your room. Some choose to visit the little one later in the nursery.
Others choose to see the baby only with the adoptive couple. They find it easier to think of the baby as a part of the adoptive couple’s family, and seeing them together as a unit is a comfort during this time.
The choice is yours. We only urge that you think it through ahead of time. There are a lot of questions thrown at you when you arrive at the hospital. And, when you arrive at the hospital, you will most likely be in labour. It’s not the best state to make multiple decisions.
This is why we encourage a hospital plan, to think through how much you would like to see the baby. Of course, when you are at the hospital you are welcome to change the plan. But if you have a general idea of how you want things to go when you are level headed, it will be easier to stick to a course of action that you thought would be best.
Your caseworker will gladly discuss this with you in detail. The next blog will cover what the process of making a hospital plan is like.