When deciding to parent or place a baby for adoption, there are many things to consider. Navigating the birth father situation can be tricky. Here are a few things to think about:
What kind of partner will the birth father be?
A good place to start is to think about what kind of involvement the birth father will likely have in parenting. A good reference for that is to see how involved and supportive he is with your life now.
How does he help with other children he might have? Is he around, is he present at the times when you need him to be? And if he is around, does he support you financially and emotionally? Do you have a partner in this situation, or just another person?
Now not everyone has the answers to those questions. You and/or the birth father might not have had the opportunity to parent before. If that’s the case, a good way to gage his level of responsibility is to see how he follows through in other areas of his life. Does he do what he promises to do? Does he show up when he says he’ll show up?
As you answer some of these questions, think about these scenarios from the eyes of a child. You know what it feels like if he doesn’t show up for you. Now, think about how that would feel for a child? Or how you would feel to watch it happen to your child?
You might have great answers to these questions. You might have a real partner, that’s in the mix. And that’s fantastic!
These are all just questions to think through.
If you decide to make an adoption plan, there are several different levels of involvement for a birth father.
The birth father does not control your adoption.
The birth father does not need to participate or even agree with the adoption plan. He just, simply, needs to be notified. It is his responsibility to respond. Even if he says he would never agree to an adoption plan, he has to put actual actions to his words in order to stop it from going through.
If you have limited or no information about the birth father, you can still make an adoption plan.
It’s OK if you are not sure who the birth father is, or how to get in touch with the birth father. All you are responsible to do is to give us as much information as you have, even if it is only a first name and a description. The burden is on us to do what we can with the information that’s given.
All in all, whatever your birth father situation might be, Gift of Life would be more than happy to go through it with you step by step. We will gladly take the time to talk with you about all your options. We are always here to listen, and help you make the plan that is best for you!
We would love to talk to you about your options. Feel free to give us a call at 727-549-1416 24 hours a day, 7 days a week or Click on Message (which is located at the bottom right-hand side of your screen) if you would like to talk to someone in our office right now.