As we talk about the hospital experience and making a hospital plans, I am reminded of one of my favorite birth mom stories.
I had worked with a birth mom named Andrea for several months. Andrea was kind birth mom that struggled with an addiction problem.
Although the delivery was sudden, the adoptive couple was able to be there. The delivery room was a full house: Andrea, her mother, the adoptive couple, and myself, all at Andrea’s request.
The delivery was fast, the baby was in a bad position, and it was all too quick for the mom to have an epidural. It was a stressful delivery.
Due to the difficulty of the delivery the baby didn’t breath right away. The baby was brought to a warming table in the room, and none of us spoke or breathed until we heard the baby cry seconds later. Then we all cried.
All four of them, mom, grandmom, and the adoptive couple folded into a weeping hug.
A few days later, after we signed paperwork, I asked the birth mom how she would like to say goodbye to the adoptive couple, and how she wanted to say goodbye to her baby.
Andrea said she wanted to put the baby in the adoptive couples arms and walk out. I did my best to orchestrated just that.
I remember the details of the scene. The hospital room was pink, and on the far side of the room there was a large window. When I walked in the room she stood at the window with her back to me and the baby on her shoulder. She was crying. I will never forget her shaking silhouette framed by that window.
I poked my head in and said, “Andrea, the couple is outside do you want them to come in?” She said a shaky “Yes.”
They walked in behind me. She turned around and slowly walked towards them holding the little boy. Her face was shiny with tears.
She looked the adoptive mom and dad in the eye, and then handed them their son. The couple instinctively threw their arms around her, and for the second time, they hugged and wept. She untangled herself from the hug. Said a quick “Good bye.” and left the room.
I followed her to the hallway to make sure she had all the paperwork she needed to leave, and that she had a way of getting home. I offered to wait with her for her ride, and she asked me to stay with the couple.
It is one of my most beautiful adoption memories. Andrea had made many choices she was not proud of with her struggle with addiction. But I know she was proud of the choice she made to place her baby for adoption. And Gift of Life was privileged that we were able to honor her wishes for the process.
