5 Reasons Why a Birth Mother Might Choose an Open Adoption
Adoptive parents often wonder how birth mothers make the right choices for their unborn baby. One of the biggest decisions that a birth mother must make is whether to pursue an open adoption with her child and their new family. In an open adoption, she would be allowed to continue having contact with the child through letters, phone calls, pictures, and visits. Unfortunately, many adoptive parents wonder whether this is a ploy to take the child back in later years, but nothing could be further from the truth. A birth mother is simply attempting to do what is in the best interest of her baby.
Creating an open adoption can be done for many different reasons that are as unique as the birth mother herself. If you aren’t sure why a birth mother would select an open adoption plan for her child, you might want to take a look at some of these key reasons.
She can provide answers to major questions.
As the child grows up, they are bound to come up with a lot of questions regarding their heritage, their history, and their own personal identity. While these questions are normal for any child, many of them stem directly from their adoption. The adoptive parents can do their best to answer some of these questions for the child, but they won’t be able to fully satisfy all of the curiosities that the child has about their start in life. Many children will start to search for their birth parents at some point in their lifetime just to obtain answers to these essential questions.
On the other hand, the birth mother is more than capable of answering these questions for her child and their new adoptive family. One of the main reasons why a birth mother might pursue an open adoption is so that her child doesn’t have to wonder where they came from. She wants to be able to give them peace of mind about her decision and their heritage with her relationship. Everyone in the adoption triad can benefit from an open adoption when this is one of the motivating factors for choosing such a relationship.
A birth mother can help with medical care.
A birth mother creates her adoption plan out of love for her new child. She wants the very best for her baby but knows that she is unable to provide it. However, she can still help with medical care and information through an open adoption. Adoptive parents often lack the biological family’s medical history, but a birth mother can help to fill out those important forms at the doctor’s office. This ensures that the child can receive much better care and more appropriate treatment when a major medical emergency arises. Selecting an open adoption in order to provide more medical information for the child is yet another display of a birth mother’s sacrificial love for her child.
She wants her child to know that they were loved.
Many birth mothers carry around the fear that their child will never know that they were loved. They worry that the child will grow up believing that they were unwanted instead of adored by the birth mother. Even though the birth mother knows she loved the child, sustaining an open relationship with the new adoptive parents gives her an opportunity to display that love to her child. She can tell them the story of why she chose adoption for them, how she selected the perfect adoptive family, and how she thinks about them often even now. Having an open adoption relationship is the best way for a birth mother to convey just how much she loves her child, even though they are being raised by another family.
She can see that the adoptive parents are doing an excellent job.
Birth mothers take a great deal of time to study adoption profiles and select the perfect family to raise their baby. They may conduct interviews, request more information, and then deliberate some more before settling on the right adoptive family. However, she might still have doubts about how her child will be taken care of or how they will be raised. It’s normal for her to have these fears and uncertainties when entrusting her child to the care of another family. An open adoption can help her to put these fears to rest as she sees her child grow up to be happy and healthy throughout the years.
There is a greater circle of support for the child.
Can a child ever really have too many people to love them? Another reason that many birth mothers will choose an open adoption is to provide a greater circle of support for the child. She becomes like another extended family member, similar to an aunt or an uncle that is involved in the child’s life. A birth mother can still provide love and encouragement to her child. Depending on the degree of openness, the birth mother might become extremely close with the adoptive parents in order to support them as well.
Open adoptions can be tricky to navigate in the very beginning, but they almost always benefit the child. In many situations, they even prove to be advantageous for the birth mother and the adoptive parents as well. A child can always benefit from having another person around to love them and support them as they go through life. It is even more important for a birth mother to be around to answer questions for the child as they grow up.
Every birth mother has her own unique reasons for selecting an open adoption for her child. However, each one of them is born out of her love for the baby. She desires to see them grow up happy and healthy, knowing that they were loved from the very beginning. It is yet another beautiful example of her courageous decision to give her child the best possible start in life.