How to Support a Birth Mother After Adoption
Choosing adoption is a life-altering decision for both the birth mother and the baby. It can be hard to know how to support a birth mother after choosing adoption for her baby. There are many emotions at play, and the entire journey takes time to process. As a friend or family member of a birth mother who chose adoption, it is crucial to do all you can to help. Check out these tips on how to support a birth mother after adoption.
Be a Listening Ear
A birth mother often feels many emotions after choosing adoption for the baby. It is essential to support a birth mother by listening to her feelings. Even if you don’t know what to say, just being there to hear her thought process can help. Being a listening ear is a small thing you can do to help support her through this time.
Give Her Time to Heal
Adoptions often take some time to process and finalize, both in the physical world and the mental and emotional one. Support the birth mother in your life by giving her time to process everything. You may think that she needs to bounce back immediately, but carrying a baby and giving birth are important life experiences that can have long-term effects.
Make sure to give her time and space to walk through the experience, knowing that you are always there for her when she needs it. Help the birth mother heal from giving birth and any follow-up medical items needed for recovery as well.
Support Her Decision
Sometimes birth mothers question whether they made the right decision for themselves and the baby. Even if you disagree with her decision, it is important that she knows that you support whatever she decides. Remind her of all of the reasons why she chose adoption before the baby was born. If she questions herself, support her by reiterating the values and qualities that were part of choosing adoption.
Find a Support Group or Therapist
Again, going through pregnancy, birth, and adoption can be traumatic for some birth mothers. Consider finding her a therapist or support group to help her talk about her feelings and the experience overall. Your local public health office could help find a therapist or support group that costs little to nothing at all. If this option isn’t available, consider paying for a therapist yourself to give her a few months of sessions.
While adoption is hard for the entire birth family, it is important to be there for the birth mother in your life who recently chose adoption for the baby. Support her by listening, giving her time to heal, and supporting her decision. Finding a support group or therapist is an additional way to help her after the birth. Consider all of these things when wanting to support a birth mother after adoption.